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I hate doing these stupid things because nobody really gives a flying rat's ass that I've been married for 13 years, have 2 kids, a cat, and a dog that thinks of my home as his own personal toilet.....but the "suits" say I have to do it and seeing as they sign my paycheque twice a month and the bank apparently hasn't forgotten about my mortgage...here goes...
Place of birth: Earth
Sex: At least once a day...usually by myself.
Build: kinda chubby at 240lbs, and I have a 21 inch neck...unfortunately, not kidding about that.
Favourite Food: I'm 240lbs...I didn't get this big through exercise....so pretty much ALL food excites me....except for Parsnips...god those things are vile, they taste like sweaty feet....and it's none of your damn business how I know what sweaty feet taste like.
Favourite Movie: Anything that is "stupid funny", involves a lot of fighting or explosions, and contains as much full frontal nudity as possible.
Favourite Actress: Jessica Biel.....she can't act to save her life, but holy sweet Moses she's hot. To quote the boys from the PEI encyclopedia, "Jesus, she makes my pants tight!"
Favourite Actor: Bruce Willis...cause he's just cool as s***.
Favourite Music Artist: Johnny Cash, because he makes any badass rocker today look like a *****. That dude was the epitome of "awesome"....but I also like Slash, AIC, STP, Gloryhound, Carmen Townsend, Like a Motorcycle...NS has some seriously wicked talent.
Hobbies: napping.....that's it, I don't have time for anything else.
Claim to fame: I was fired from 2 radio stations in 6 months, one of which was the sh****** station in town, but then got hired back from the first company that fired me, to be the Morning Host at Live 105 with one of my favourite people in the world, Floyd. She's the female version of me, but with less hair, a lot smaller, a bigger penis and we both like chicks, which is cool.<.
Thats it, kids....is something pissing you off? Let me rant about it for you on "Jeff's Jacked Up!" Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Floyd is best known for her work with the Blackhearts. Her musical and songwriting approach is heavily influenced by the hard-edged, hard beat-driven rhythms common to many rock bands of her native Pugwash, often featuring lyrics surrounding themes of lost love, criticisms of insincerity, the quest for authenticity, the struggles and resolutions of the Acadian middle class. She has 8 albums that have all been certified Platinum and Gold, and she has been referred to as the "Queen of Rock 'n' Roll" many times during her career.
Floyd is often accused of plagiarism and not taking work assignments very seriously.
Born and raised in a secluded and often terrifying region of rural Nova Scotia, she arrived in Halifax in 2004 to launch a long and prosperous career of dropping out of school. She has lived, worked and stumbled all over the city, save for a recent 7 month relocation to Saskatoon after she fell into a freight container on the waterfront. Floyd was there long enough to inspire the Hot Hot Heat single 'Goddess on the Prairie' and learn to hunt bison. She now uses those skills to pick up bearded men in local bars.
Floyd has kicked more ass by accident than you have on purpose.
Floyd loves rock more than any other kind of music, even Finnish death polka. That's why she always sounds so excited to be on Live 105, even at 5:30 in the morning. Check her out (literally and figuratively) with Jeff every morning on The Live 105 Morning Show! BAAAAM!